Return to my Humor pages
Return to my Sports pages
Go to my
home page
© Copyright 1998, Jim Loy
The longest running rivalry in sports is, of course, Shirts vs. Skins. For those of you who have not experienced this custom, when sides are chosen (normally in basketball), one team gets to wear their shirts (and are called "Shirts"), while the other team gets to go shirtless (and are called "Skins"). While documentation remains sparse, this rivalry seems to have been going on for quite some time.
Of course, from the dawn of time, until the invention of the shirt, it was difficult to tell to which team a player belonged, when playing typical caveman games, like rock-scissors-paper (or rock-rock-rock, as it was then known). Note that rock-scissors-paper (a predecessor of basketball) was not necessarily a team sport, in those days. But, it could have gotten ugly, and may have involved beer. So, it would seem to have been a team sport. Later, shirts were made of skins. So, it was still difficult to tell the Shirts from the Skins. In those confusing times, a favorite trick was to shout, "I'm open!" And your opponent would often throw the ball (or rock) to you, causing either jubilation or wailing among the different spectators.
The shirt became important in sports, when camel's hair was discovered. Note that camel's hair is seldom acquired from a live camel, as camels are notoriously wary of barbers (people who practice barbary).
Eventually, Wolfgang Amadeus Naismith discovered basketball, thus finally finding a use for the shirt (and the peach basket). And the rivalry began to make some sense. As of this writing, Shirts are ahead 34,079,844 to 33,892,887.
Note: Because of the paucity of previous documentation on this subject, I have had to make up most of these little-known facts.
Addendum:
I received email informing me that Skins win more often. They are the natural athletes who are proud of their bodies, and are proud to be seen without shirts. That may be, and that may explain some of my own troubles thoughout my life.
Return to my Humor pages
Return to my Sports pages
Go to my
home page